elderberries

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Elderflowers.
Have you ever made elderberry wine? It's pretty darned awesome. We would drive along country roads and look for elderberry bushes along the side of the road, usually growing in ditches alongside those roads. They're not so easy to find anymore, at least around central Ohio. We'd fill our containers full of the berries, then, at home, we'd sit at a table and strip the berries off their branches and stems. There were two kinds of "critters" associated with this activity; fastbugs and spoonspiders. Our terms. Fastbugs were actually elderberries that dropped to the floor and rolled away. I'd see then peripherally, and think they were bugs - running fast. Thus fastbugs. Spoonspiders were actually little spiders that George would dispatch with a spoon.
Elderberry wine. One of the finest of homemade wines.
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slime

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We've gotten so many slimy robocalls, and frankly they're from McCain or the RNC. Yesterday we received two phone calls, one from each party, both about getting in our absentee ballots in a timely manner. The Republican call warned us that the Democrats were rigging the votes, the Democrat call ended with a reminder to vote in a timely manner. Period.
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Red Mountain, Arizona

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This was an amazing hike. I was still weak from the rigors of healing from breast cancer, Mike suggested we take this hike he really loves. As we trudged along flat sandy scrubby pines with the only scenery worth noting far in the distance, I wondered just what was so enticing about the hike. Too tired, really, to question him, I just kept putting one foot in front of the other, frankly thinking I was humoring my son. You know how mothers can be…

But then the path turned and we found ourselves along a dry creek bed heading for the magnificent red cliffs of Red Mountain. I remember thinking this was Gaia's cathedral.

These hiking paths, especially in the mountains, remind me that things can change relatively quickly, and I take that lesson with me on all manner of paths, physical and otherwise.
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words

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How can I look at such a beautiful sky and have no words of joy?
Oh, there is joy,
just no words.

Will words return?
I don't know.
In musical scores, pauses are written in, often for artistic and dramatic effect.
Maybe this is a pause
or maybe it's just the end of the song.
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Nashville windows

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birth of a poppy flower

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A friend recently took issue with something I had written, and commented that I am a socialist, whereas she is a capitalist.
Perhaps, as far as I understand the terms. I thought about it for awhile, especially in the context of the presidential campaign, and our very different hopes for the outcome. Yet we are both intelligent and compassionate, if I can take the liberty of making a judgment. So what gives? I wrote a response, which I'll share in a moment.
Just today, in a conversation George was having with one of his friends, the same charge was leveled. After talking about it, I shared with him what I'd written to my friend, and he shared it with his friend. I frankly haven't come up with an answer that says better what's in my heart.

"My thoughts - the labels "capitalist" and "socialist" are tools that divide us. We are one people, one family, living on one planet. Capitalism works as long as people are committed to justice and compassion. Socialism works as long as people are committed to justice and personal responsibility. Whichever "side" we are on, we tend to brand the other side by its shortcomings, without recognizing the shortcomings on our own "side".

The foundation is justice.
And there is no peace without justice."
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maintaining balance

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The aromasin holiday is finished. Buoyed up with Zoloft to keep my brain working normally, I go back to my best hope of maintaining health. Whether it was simply the absence of aromasin, or the introduction of Zoloft, I regained my body and mind. My physical balance returned, the increasing aches (apart from my normal arthritis) melted away, I regained mental focus, normal sleep and dreams returned, and that strange depression fled. We'll see if the Zoloft is strong enough to counter the cumulative effects of aromasin, but that will take some time.

I wonder how much of who we are is a result of our own unique mix of chemicals.
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spreading the wealth

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It is interesting to watch and listen to "common folk" ragging on "spreading the wealth" as they support John McCain. I wonder how many of them have had some of their wealth stolen from them by the corporatocracy, keeping wages low, outsourcing their jobs, and never made the connection…
And I wonder how many of them that are ragging on "spreading the wealth" follow the teachings of Jesus.
Just wondering, that's all.
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ongoing

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Another day, again not much to say, either poetically, wonderingly, or narratively.
But perhaps I wonder why so quiet?
Probably the meds, as the doc tries to balance cancer-free with quality of life.
Probably that.
Aromasin.
A blessing and a curse.
Curse?
Nah. Just a welcome kink in the road.
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early voting

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We "early" voted today. We were told that over 12,000 people in our county have already voted. Our county, at the 2006 census, had a population of about 150,000. Ohio's attorney general said on the Rachel Maddow show that she expected an 80% voter turnout, and at the county board of elections, they anticipate a 90% turnout. Amazing.
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Anne and her subjects

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Colin Powell Endorses Barack Obama for President

quiet

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still no words…
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Exuberance dressed in yellow

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I'll dance if I want to.....

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Denver

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cliff face at Clear Creek

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Mother nature is a watercolorist, but it takes ages for her canvases to dry.

Just sharing some information...
Occasionally I have bloodwork done at the oncologist's. One thing they can check for is the byproduct of tumor metabolism. My numbers are good, meaning there are no little tumors growing anywhere. I asked him, being concerned about the aromasin, why he can't just do blood work a bit more often, and if the metabolism number goes up, then I go back on the aromasin. He said it doesn't work that way. IF the metabolism number goes up, meaning there is tomor growth, he orders a scan to find the tumor(s), plus I go immediately from stage 2 to stage 4 and will be on chemo for the rest of my life. Average for "the rest of my life" is about five years, though he does have one patient who has stuck around for nine years.

Life is certainly interesting…
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magic at Chestnut Ridge

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you
yes, you
you are so beautiful
as you live out your life
one among a multitude

yet when I walked by
the sun singled you out
and you glowed

love
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pause

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The Memory Keeper's Daughter

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"The Memory Keeper's Daughter", written by Kim Edwards, is a compelling novel. Since it was recommended by Sue Monk Kidd, I figured I would like it.
I did.

As I read and witnessed the lives of very believable individuals struggling through difficulties that, though dramatized for the sake of the story, are probably similar to difficulties we all have, I ponder these things…
None of us is perfect.
We all become flawed in one way or another, though we don't know it at the time.
Our flaws determine, sometimes, how we deal with difficult situations.
Our responses, dictated by our own flawed perceptions, are not the responses other people have, because their perceptions are flawed in different ways.
Growth occurs, hopefully, when individuals' different perceptions smack against each other.
Forgiveness occurs, hopefully, when individuals' different perceptions smack against each other.
Repeat the last two sentences as necessary.
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gratitude

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I am grateful that I've gone through the trials life has given me, and I'm also grateful to return to a reasonable measure of health as our country (actually our world) goes through a transformative process. However we organize our lives around the spiritual stories and explanations that motivate us, I think most of us have known at some level that we've needed a course correction. I'm glad to have enough energy remaining to add to the work to make that correction possible.
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flight

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photo by Bob Fister

What do we really know for sure?
And, whatever it is that you know, what is your manner of knowing?
So I guess I ask, how do you KNOW you know something?
Or, are we all artists, "creating our own reality?"
Does it really matter if we know something or not, as long as we plant our head, our heart, and both feet in the current moment?
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peek-a-boo

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Hugely busy today - processing apples for pies and applesauce, using the last of the peppers to make and freeze stuffed pepper lasagna. The tomato plants have been pulled out of the ground, but I talked George into leaving the pepper plants. We harvested all peppers larger than my little finger, more or less, and now those babies have grown and we now have a new crop of peppers.

Also, two new alterations customers arrived today.

I love having my "me" back.
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aromasin again

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boyohboyohboyohboyohboy

Today was "visit the oncologist" day. He had taken me off the aromasin because of what we presumed it was doing to my head. I've written about it. Today we both acknowledged I'm much better. Yep. I'm myself again. The aromasin somehow was responsible for diminishing the seratonin in my brain. The depression wasn't about my inability to deal with stuff - it was about my brain's inability to respond given the chemicals available. Scary thought, eh. We're a bag of chemicals…

But I need what the aromasin offers. It keeps me cancer free. Doc's response? Take something that jacks up the seratonin in my brain to counteract what the aromasin does. Well, OK. Another pill. Gotta remember…we're just a bag of chemicals anyway…

I mentioned again that if the only way to keep on keepin' on was to endure depression, then I'd do it. Now here's why I love this man; he said that was unacceptable. He's helping ALL of me, not just the cancer part. That is so energizing, to have a doctor who sees past the disease he's treating and recognizes the person.

That's how my day began. Listening to the presidential debate was how my day ended. I'm glad Obama did as well as the focus groups and polls suggested, but all in all, what's happening to our country is, well, scary? Not quite. We've needed to have our greed checked for a long time; not just corporate greed, but our individual greed that results from refusing to look at the big pictures. It's all one long slimy string.
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Solar Flare

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Once I took a beginner's class in stained glass. Way too much blood to suit me, but I love the look. So…I do it in fabric.

We are currently in a deep solar minimum of the sun's cycle. I'm anticipating a return to more sunspot activity, thus more of a possibility of seeing auroras here in Ohio.
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family portrait

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Sometimes the expectations of extended family make no sense to me. We are no longer tribal creatures, dependent on the group for safety and survival. I am a hermit for the most part. I wish nobody, related or otherwise, any harm. But. If a person related to me isn't someone I'd want to hang with as a friend, then why should I hang with them because they're a relative? This isn't even about those obligatory holiday gatherings, family reunions, holidays.
Grrrrr.

p.s. No, not immediate family so untie your knickers.
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bigotry

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photo by George Denino

If it were up to me bigotry would be a treasonable offense.
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simplicity

political disbelief

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I truly don't understand how a thoughtful, intelligent person can vote for McCain/Palin. I shall revise my comment. I don't understand how a thoughtful, intelligent person who has time and desire to research the political topics can vote for McCain/Palin.
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basement visitor

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Do you remember the movie "The Incredible Shrinking Man?" That was a neat movie. I always wished I could have that opportunity, to shrink continually so that I could finally be small enough to see atoms and molecules, and then to shrink until even those things would be as big as planets.
Of course, that would be a bit difficult, because how could I shrink smaller than the building blocks of which I am made?
And, what if, in that process, I came across a centipede that wanted to eat me for lunch?
Still in all, it would be a great adventure.

Considering the size of the universe and our very limited knowledge, maybe there are beings so incomprehensively large that they would look upon human beings as we look upon centipedes.
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